brightlotusmoon: (Asha)
So, my thoughts have been spinning merrily amidst what could be a spiraling episode of... Oh, fuck, probably everything at once. After I had a chat with three doctors about the consequences of stress-related memory loss, I quietly decided to start a private mindfulness therapy, which I have only been sharing with the psychologist, for advice, while I move forward in my own brain to stop my own brain from destroying my mindstate.

Tomorrow, I see my general physician and have her write a referral for the local hyperbaric oxygen therapy center. Although it's a bit premature, as they have yet to call me back about an initial consultation. While I was filling out their online New Patient form, I started wondering if they would even take someone like me, with two dozen illness. Even though cerebral palsy is the cornerstone. I just feel so excited about it. That's a good thing. I can still most of my emotion things.

What I find beautiful and fascinating about my private therapy protocol is that almost nobody believes me. I have been stuck in something insane since 2010. Why would they believe I would "get better" now, so many years later after therapy and medications and meditative exercises? Then again, none of them have been in long term therapy or medication. It really does take many years to spur a change this massive. Hence the secret protocol, which includes a possible medication update and potential oxygen therapy.

I don't expect anyone to believe me. I don't expect anyone to believe in my desire to change with this therapy protocol. How could they? Why would they? I am the same as I was when symptoms started. But I don't want their belief. I don't really want support if there is no actual active knowledge. How can you say "Hey, I've been there, I get it, fist bump in solidarity" unless you really have gone through a similar structure of treatment repeatedly for a grab bag of illnesses that mindfuck you for no reason?
Actual legitimate question, BTW.
If you're also a parent of someone with interconnected psychiatric and neurological disorders, I would love input, because when I try to explain these things to my mom who only has hereditary ADHD controlled via lifestyle, my emotion-brain starts shutting down so my technical-brain can word at her, and I know she wants less science and more human. I'm trying. I just cannot get past that very protective mental guardian who shields emotion-Joanna from Outside. And oh, as much as I love Serena, she feels it is easier and gentler to let me sleep while she and Koan the calico kitten organize and compartmentalize all the Me. Ananta works hard enough balancing out all the neuroweird that Alicia in my private epileptic Wonderland can't reach. I haven't had much success in psychically merging with Asha. We are working out my dissociative and depersonalization episodes first.

I will do this. It will happen. Steps have been severely taken. Hard to talk. But if you think you get it, I would love a discussion via Private Message. I am willing to reveal bits and pieces of my Rebuild Joanna Brain Project to acquire tips and advice from those who get it.

Now, see, I view many people as family beyond my blood family - who shall remain the besy family I would want. Various people in my social circle - friends plus family - have always stood with me. I will always need and want that. But for those who are truly normal and looking at me with confusion, puzzlement, exasperation, fear, anger... and the type of condesencing that means pats on the head, chuckling, and "I love you sweetie. Of course you'll change." "You do nothing. You never help. You are too self absorbed, you don't think, you claim memory loss. It is all right, dear. We are used to hit. Just finish writing." Followed by another hair tousle. I'm used to it. It's routine because I am me.
I am not out to prove them wrong, not entirely. I am out to prove to myself that my neuroplasticity really might eradicate the worst of the annoying symptoms.
Maybe this whole autistic ramble came from my hope and excitement over this slow gentle therapeutic process. If loved ones want me to speed it up, I can turn away for a while to meditate.

All I know is that my own husband has been putting up with me forever, and that says something huge.

Love you, LJ family.
brightlotusmoon: (Asha)
'Reborn' by Laura Sava (anotherwanderer.deviantart.com/)
'Mirabella' by Rachel Anderson (www.silverstars.us/‎)

Two forms of my own story character, Asha Clara Night, my strongest, most individual, most personal fiction character.

These paintings. Completely different images that look almost exactly like incarnations of the same character of my own subconscious creation Women who look almost exactly like the dreamself I am becoming in my dreams and visions.

Laura-sava-Reborn

Rachel Anderson Mirabella


She was in my dreams last night and many nights before. I haven't decided exactly who she is yet, but in my dreams her name is Asha, meaning "desire, hope, hopeful; life; alive; she who lives." Which says so much, so so much.

She is another dreamself, not a spirit guardian, but much closer to my Self than my other characters (Alicia, Serena, Ananta: my spirit guardian coping mechanisms for epilepsy, memory loss, insomnia, sleep problems, [Alicia], chronic pain and fatigue, depression, anxiety, physical disabilities [Serena], neurology, neurodivergence, autism, total mind-body connection [Ananta].

Asha seems to represent many internal things about my emotions, my heart and mind, my rhyme and reason, my logic, my science, my creativeness and creativity, my power, my energy, my beauty. If she were to reveal herself as a guardian, she would be for emotional states, creative thoughts, desires, loves, patterns, ideas.
Asha is definitely powerful in a way I always wanted to be since childhood: Fae and and Elemental Mage and Neurodivergent and Autistic Witch and Quantum Magic Scientist and Story Crafter and Shape Shifter and Magic Librarian and Magic Keeper.

Asha seems to represent my deep, obsessive, compulsive wish and desire to be one of the psionic-mage superhumans in my stories, to take over for be when I feel failure and self-loathing and terror and panic. I think Asha may in fact be an actual entity, one who communicates outside instead of simply speaking into my visions, dreams, pain flare withdrawings, anxiety attacks.

All I know is that Asha was in every dream last night and throughout the past several sleeps, long detailed intense dreams, and she quoted Kosh. She spoke in a soprano version of my voice that could sing. She was always here She is always here. She has always been here.
I think she was with me since I was a baby. In different forms, in different species, with different names, in different imaginary beings, in different fictional characters. She was made of fire. She used to be a phoenix, a unicorn, a dragon, a star, a nebula. I know Asha. I know Asha in the way I hope to know myself.

The thing is, Asha has a fully active voice when I am completely conscious, aware, awake, functional, and stable. She didn't completely create herself, but she grew and evolved over my lifetime in her own way as a character in my subconscious. She took ideas I worked with and wove them into her personality, behavior, and mentality. My disabilities are hers. She stayed and changed and grew with me like a permanent piece of my spirit. Asha also represents my fluid sexuality - I often visit her in the place she calls home and we make love, representing my desires for love and orientation.

She lives with Alicia in the Wonderland cottage, but she freely moves about my brain more often. She shapeshifts into elemental energies, she moves around my hippocampus and amygdala and temporal lobes and cingulate gyrus and thalamus and auditory cortex and somatosensory cortex and parital lobe and the back of my brain.
She has altered the Wonderland cottage to be something else entirely, with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two office rooms, a large entertainment living room, a large kitchen, a basement. The outside build would contain concrete, cement, hemp and limestone, bamboo, steel. The glass windows are shatterproof. The doors are hemp-lime and timber. That must say something about my mind's inner workings. Especially since the main reason for hemp being illegal is due to its threat to corporate patentable synthetic fibers and wood and paper product industries, while the medicinal drug potential became subject to false claims and fear mongering alarm campaigns until the original industrial potential became buried under the alarmist anti drug campaigns. Part of me probably knows how powerful this is. Medicine from nature itself and the human brain itself is usually denied and seen as worthless.

Asha represents that part of me that firmly supports the controversial balance of traditional pharmaceutical medicine and nontraditional botanical medicine.
Asha is my activism and advocacy. Asha is the fire that moves my belief in the combination of synthetic drugs and organic drugs. Asha is the phoenix in me that rises after every defeat, every failure, every attack, every oppression, every attack and assault on my truths and faiths.

Throughout many names, faces, back stories, lives, personalities, and individual growths... she has always been Asha Clara Night. And this is how she asked me to look so I could see that there is beauty deep and shining.

I must find and thank the artists for these images, since I found myself taking these pieces of artwork and subconsciously turning them into incarnations of my own fictional character.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151978626835684&l=17dde55bf4

Asha may well be the character in that second novel after all. It won't be this Asha, my Asha; just a version, a more humanized incarnation I can bring out to show the public. This excites me. She could help me write it, just by living in my mind.
brightlotusmoon: (Snow White Ruby Blood Dragon Witch Light)
My modified Disablility Compensated Qi Gong exercises always help, mentally and spiritually and psychologically and physiologically. Like yoga, except Fake Yoga Cripple Style that is not actually yoga. (FYCS. FIX. Ha ha ha...) (Or hey, Fake Yoga Cripple Style Modified Exercise. FYCSME = FIX ME. Ha ha. Wow. Dude.)

But it isn't helping today. I'm too Hollow, which is my term for deep major depression. I'm too Postictal, after that unexpectedly awful seizure yesterday and its aftershock which were tiny seizures for hours. Emotional responses are foreign and results of emotion are mere symptoms, like crying and laughing. I will meditate again, do more qigong work, and breathe and much as possible.
FYI. I am having an episode of pure major Depression plus major Anxiety. This is accompanied by mild memory loss of the past two days. Everything is foggy. I know I should be upset about something, but I cannot feel upset. What is upset, anyway? I think I hurt myself emotionally yesterday. I wish I remembered what it was. I believe it started out with false happiness. Remember that weird assumption of some sort of hypomania? I think I was outside of my rational mind.

Back to special exercises.
People keep suggesting and recommending breathing exercises. I know all of that. I know people just want to share their personal remedies. I love it. Please don't think I am rejecting you. I love hearing your stories. Even the stories about yoga. I wish I could explain why just seeing or hearing the word yoga evokes a sad, upset reaction. It isn't that I am unable to do yoga. It is just that yoga extremists do not listen nor care about my need for compensation. My body was born crooked. I cannot form a proper straight line even if I held on to something. No amount of cajoling, insisting, or pushing different forms will change that. Please don't do that. Please just accept that I have to perform qi gong differently, and that qi gong included poses that are similar to yoga, and that yoga is not the greatest panacea of healing holistic practices. This is part of why I don't want to visit California, which makes absolutely no sense and makes me look prejudiced.

So. Please, please do talk about how much yoga is healing you, because that is beautiful and I am genuinely, honestly joyfully happy. But if you wish to suggest a yoga pose that can be modified for someone with a shaky, spastic, crippled body, please suggest an alternate form. That is all I ask. There is no such thing as a real panacea, even in the botanical world, even in the plant and herb world, and certainly not in the exercise world. It is entirely possible that I will find a set of yoga exercises that will really, truly help me, and I will join the ranks of yoga enthusiasts. Anything is possible. Nothing is off limits. Except evangelism. If I wanted something pushed down my throat, I will drink water mixed with special fruit and plant powders, like sea buckthorn and moringa.
This is coming from my years as a holistic enthusiast and pusher. I was bad. I was essentially an asshole. And then I learned that it was just wrong. I never want to do that again. Just because something works perfectly for me does not mean it will work at all for someone else.

Any form of good physical-spiritual combination exercise, be it yoga, qigong, taichi, strength training, cardio, dead lift weight, isometrics, plyometrics, dance, hardcore dance, etc, is wonderful and beautiful and strengthening, and will help everyone in some personal powerful way. That is the point of exercise.
I love you all. If you really want to help me, don't push me. Just guide me.
brightlotusmoon: (Snow White Ruby Blood Dragon Witch)


We started out at 7:00 this morning, made a few stops, and got to Sag Harbor around 2:00 this afternoon. Now at my parents, digesting dinner, watching television quietly, and getting ready for an early bed. The rest of the week will see us going around Southampton and Bridgehampton and relaxing with pizza and bagels.

brightlotusmoon: (Snow White Blood Red Light Pale)
A wild anxiety attack. The beginnings of a migraine. Muscles actually feeling loose and relaxed in a fabulous way, which is probably in part due to the baclofen and tramadol, but close enough. A twinge of ulnar nerve entrapment. Some right knee swelling. A bit of hemiparesis. Some eczema and xeroderma itchiness. The beginnings of a mild major depression episode.

I will go snuggle my cats as much as they will allow. Several online acquaintances just dealt with the deaths of their cats (some peacefully in sleep, some hurried to the emergency vet). Sometimes I force myself to imagine what would happen if Jupiter, Luna, or Rose died. Owning a cat is owning a tragedy waiting to happen, as my parents say. But love... love lasts. Loving a cat is beyond anything in the universe.

I'm still reading "The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern. It is so beautiful. I still need to finish less heavy books, like "Between" by Kerry Schafer, "Dead Ever After" by Charlaine Harris, "The Darkest Kiss" by Gena Showalter, a new copy of "The Tower And The Hive" by Anne McCaffrey (all my Rowan series books have fallen apart by now), "The Winter Oak" by James Hetley, "Twilight's Dawn" by Anne Bishop. I'll probably get some kind of inspiration for stagnant stories somewhere.

Speaking of stories and characters, I've quickly fallen in love with Amber Kass and Clara Kim even more than with Dana Ryan and Ian Morgan - and Dana and Ian as a couple have been with me since my teen years. Sometimes I see Amber and Clara as Deanna Troi and Will Riker, a version of Imzadi for life, on and off for so many years before finally just saying "fuck it" and getting married and embracing their intense connections. This story takes place years after the wedding but I plan on doing many flashbacks. It will probably just turn into a big novel. That is fine.

Writing. Writing. Breathing. Breathing. Calming. Calming.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Let's see.
Coffee, protein fruit smoothie, amazing yoga pants from Rugged Warehouse, comfy bra by Barely Breezies, massive pain drugs, brain sickness drugs, athletic socks, big librarian glasses, best couch in the world, cuddly cats, Netflix via PS3 on a 52-inch wall mounted flat screen TV, novel up and running, story outlines writing themselves, migraine weakly gasping for sustenance, me laughing sadistically.
This is a good Sunday.
Later, I will finish reading "Emperor Mollusk Versus The Sinister Brain" by A. Lee Martinez and then "Trance" by Kelly Meding, and then call my therapist to discuss some stupid OCD compulsions.
Oh, and also, I spent a few glorious minutes on the phone with the wonderful Rose with her sweet Celtic pixie princess voice, while she compared my voice to deeply rich wine-soaked chocolate cake. Speaking to friends is of course always an incredible mood lifter.
I still feel a shadow of depression, which is unfortunately dulling me so much that I need a mask to talk to family. But at least I have that sweet close relationship with my family, even though my mother is way too good at sensing my masks.
Also, I shall practice some magic healing self massage with a touch of physics and see how far that gets me.

They say social networking is all about chronicling our lives in increments that may or may not interest other people, so here is mine, condensed into a cube of thoughts and actions. Enjoy, I guess. <3
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
[SCENE: On my couch, covered in books.]

"All the books I'll need! All the books, all the books I'll ever want!! [List of various urban fantasy authors] Ohhh! All the books I want! This year and the next year and the year after and the year after that and the year after that. And the best thing, the very best thing of all, is there's time now. There's all the time I need and all the time I want. Time, time, time... there's time enough at last."
[Insane fatigue, exhaustion, fibromyalgia flare, hypertonia, head pain, seizure aura all crowd in and poke all over with fiery giggles]
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was all the time I needed. That's not fair, that's not fair..."

[Plans are made to read later. READ ALL THE BOOKS DAMN IT.]
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
I have decided to list All The Books What Need Reading here, because oh gods there are too many what do I do first, etc.

-"Blackout" by Mira Grant
-"The Folded World" by Catherynne M. Valente
-"Emperor Mollusk Versus The Sinister Brain" by A. Lee Martinez
-"Twilight's Dawn" by Anne Bishop
-"Unbroken" by Rachel Caine
-"Dead Reckoning" by Charlaine Harris
-Something About Witches" by Joey W. Hill
-"Trance" by Kelly Meding
-"Serpent's Storm" by Amber Benson
-"How To Be Death" by Amber Benson
-"Bloodlines" by Richelle Mead
-"Born At Midnight" by CC Hunter
-"Taken At Dusk" by CC Hunter
-"The House of Discarded Dreams" by Ekaterina Sedia

Granted, I've nearly finished "Blackout" by Mira Grant with just over one hundred pages left, but soon enough Adam will have started reading "Feed" and he consumes books quickly, no matter how thick they are; he will soon be on "Deadline" and if I don't finish "Blackout" soon I will just give it up to him and finish it later. I already know how it ends, but it's the getting there that makes me happy.

And then, there is the list on my Kindle For PC:
-"The Witch Sea" by Sarah Diemer
-"Seven" by Jennifer Diemer
-"Sterling" by Dannika Dark
-"Twist" by Dannika Dark
-"2:32 AM" by Emily Ford
-"The Afterlife Series" by Mur Lafferty
-"The Intertwined Series" by Gena Showalter

And later, "Team Human" by Justine Larbalestier and Sarah Rees Brennan and "Endlessly" by Kiersten White will be delivered to me next month once they debut, and I can wait, but I have to wonder how many on my list I can devour by the end of July or August? I may need to make it a personal challenge. I would employ my speedreading skills, but I want to savor these as meals. Most of them, anyway.

And now, of course, I want to dig out all my Ray Bradbury books. But I think if I do that I will collapse in a pile and start crying. I have so many books, and life still needs living in this reality.

Oh gods, three weeks until my disability hearing. No wonder I want to bury myself in books. I have no idea how I'm keeping my full sanity. I would like to thank the academy (I forget which), my husband, my parents, my cats, my friends, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Futurama, Klonopin, Zoloft, Soma, codeine, valerian, magnolia extract, morniga tea, seabuckthorn oil, tamanu oil, coconut oil, pomegranate oil, mango butter, shea butter, helichrysum oil, frankincense oil, coffee, chocolate, cheese, and tea. And my friends on Livejournal. I love you.

I will blame all the spastic hypertonia, freakish pains, insane fatigue, muscle twitching, and mental fog on the cerebral palsy and fibromyalgia, and I will move on as usual. *fidgeting* *lip biting*
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
The best discussions about Mary Sue characters ever.
http://seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com/396047.html

Today was a day with fewer spoons, but Adam was with me. Errands were run, needed items were purchased, lovely foods were made.

Time for more writing, with Playstation 3 games in the background.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Recently, someone asked me how I could re-read books over and over. Wouldn't I get bored? How could I read the same story, the same words, over and over and over?

Simple: Reading over and over helps me keep the stories in my memory, so that I can pull parts of them out of my head and treasure them. Reading only once or twice makes that very difficult.

And all I have to say is... How could you not read the same story over and over? Don't you want to go back and keep hanging out with the characters? It's like never-ending parties with awesome friends that get more awesome the more you see them.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Got bored, went looking around for short science fiction and fantasy stories to read online. Found two that were very well-written.
http://www.short-story.me/science-fiction-stories/196-my-war-against-the-invisibles.html
http://www.short-story.me/science-fiction-stories/186-bjs-last-shift.html
Currently reading more from the science fiction section. Didn't really like the fantasy section much.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Reading came first. It always does.

Reading is the inhale, writing is the exhale.

http://moschus.livejournal.com/125101.html

Yes.

I fall into the second group. My obsession with reading and books impeded my social life quite severely when I was younger. Hell, it still might, if not for the fact that all my friends are also voracious readers.


(Justine is the author of Bloodangel and Lord of Bones, two of my favorite books.)


Also, my writing has taken such a dark turn that I am currently scared of it.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
I just finished the third book in Karen Chance's "Cassie Palmer" series. It is awesome. I love these books. And the awesome thing is that I decided to read the series because of a one-star review on Amazon. A reader hated the books so much that she went into great detail, describing all the various things she didn't like. And Karen Chance responded. Politely. Kindly. In detail. And I realized that I'd probably enjoy the books.
For a debut author, Chance has a serious amount of talent. I love the breathless pace of the action, the powerful descriptions, the hard reality of character emotions, the fact that Cassie is not a Mary Sue. The vampires are actually fascinating, and while they are mostly attractive, they're also vampires. Which means, you know, they act like vampires. Not sexed-up romantic Lotharios who must automatically be bedded by every woman within miles. Some of them are even ugly. And the only reason Cassie has any kind of sexual liason with one of them is because of character history, not strictly vampire-ness.
I'm tired of "beautiful flawless human falls inexplicably for hot vampire" books. I'm totally happy with books where the human is turned into a vampire and the story continues from there. For example: Jennifer Armintrout's "Blood Ties" series is awesome because of that. The main character becomes a vampire, with vampire lovers and vampire problems. I say, if you're going to throw everything at your characters, throw everything.
What annoys me is when I read a book or series in which the human and the vampire whine and angst and lament over their love, and wind up staying how they are. The human is not vampirized or anything, or even made equal to the vampire with nifty powers or anything. Angst forever.
The "Cassie Palmer" series is not one of those series. This is a "fairly attractive flawed human has been involved with vampire politics since childhood, has vampire friends, unexpectedly and unwillingly becomes attached to one vampire due to magic spell that makes their lives hell" book series. Cassie doesn't actually fall in love with anyone. She does stuff because she has to, because she has no other choice, and eventually because she wants to. She also comes into nifty powers that she doesn't want but has no choice about, and eventually learns to enjoy it. In the fourth book there will probably be love, but I'm fine with that, because the potential lover is fantastic. I'd want him.
It's probably the most refreshing "urban fantasy series featuring vampires" that I've read in years. I hear there's a fourth book coming soon. Yay!
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
The sun is shining, the weather is warm and ideal, and when I take the bus home, I'll get off at a stop farther away and walk an extra thirty minutes. I smell like Gaia Facial Oil and Psyche Lotion. Coworkers are telling me that they love my perfume, and look surprised when I say it's not perfume but lotion and oil. (Hey Vicki, what are the essential oils in the Gaia Oil? I forget.) My skin is soft, my joints and muscles are soothed, my mind is calm, and I'm sipping a bottle of Mix 1 Mix Berry juice for breakfast. For lunch today I'll have an Amy's Kitchen Organic Cheese Pizza In A Pocket sandwich. I feel healthy. Or healthier.

In my purse is a copy of Anne Bishop's Belladonna. After I finish reading that, I'm taking a chance on Karen Chance's Touch The Dark and its sequels, which have gotten mixed reviews. We'll see.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/05/mass_market_genre_surprise.php
I'll admit, I enjoy a good vampire urban fantasy with romance as much as the next woman who enjoys vampire urban fantasy with romance. I have read many great books of that kind. But it's wearing kind of thin. It's everywhere. I go into a bookstore and I can't swing an undead cat without hitting a shelf of books featuring vampire urban fantasy with romance -- specifically vampires loving humans. Vampires loving other vampires is something I would much rather see. But I guess there is that whole forbidden love thing that really attracts readers. What better kind is there?
(Besides, how creative can you get when explaining blood flow and bodily fluids in someone who's supposed to be undead?)
Maybe I just feel over-saturated as a reader. No offense to writers and fans of the genre.
Vampires have fascinated us for centuries; they are the ultimate legend. But I think they're getting overwritten in fantasy. I'd love to see a surge in books where vampires are secondary, or not so undead, or have extraordinary powers other than the fact that they're vampires. This is why I find Richelle Mead's "Vampire Academy" YA series so refreshing. The vampires are mortal, and have magical abilities, and only become undead if they kill during feeding. It's also why I love Kim Harrison's "Rachel Morgan" series. Living vampires alongside dead vampires, with a vampire virus that can be inherited.
The vampires in both these series are beautifully complex and practically human, and are explained wonderfully. That's what I'm looking for.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
I just made dinner and am waiting for it to cool: Organic whole wheat penne with extra virgin olive oil, grapeseed oil, balsamic vinegar, Smart Balance butter, large black olives, garlic powder, and oregano.
The book in my purse now is PC Cast's Divine By Blood. I hope it's as awesome as people say it is.
I had completely forgotten that I had bought Terry Pratchett's Wintersmith two months ago and had stored in in my dresser. I wonder if I should find the books that come before it first?
After I am done with the PC Cast book, I'll go back to Rachel Caine and reread Firestorm and Thin Air, because the new book in the Weather Warden series, Gale Force, will be out in June. I can only hope things get better for Joanne and David and Lewis. I mean, really. Come on, Rachel, don't go all Terry Goodkind on us and start beating up your heroes in every book.
I have more Nature's Path Acai Apple Granola and Zola Acai Pineapple Juice. I am so in love. But better to be obsessed with a three dollar bottle of exotic fruit juice than a bottle of Mountain Dew *looks at husband*.
The penultimate episode of Smallville's seventh season is tonight. Excited girl is excited.
Excited girl is also excited about tomorrow's Battlestar Galactica. Grr. Argh. I love this show. Rrgh. So frustrating, so excruciating, so beautiful.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
This may be near impossible, but... can anyone recommend a well-written supernatural or paranormal romance novel or series that's actually not hardcore erotica trying to pass as something else? Specifically, a book or series that is not all about vampires or werewolves? Seems like everything in that genre is about vampires and werewolves. Why are vampires and werewolves so sexy? They're not the only supernatural things out there. I'm tired of vampires and werewolves having sex. I want psychics and aliens and faeries and witches and sorcerers and gods having sex.

And speaking of hardcore erotica trying to pass as something else:
http://community.livejournal.com/lkh_lashouts/362344.html
http://community.livejournal.com/lkh_lashouts/362176.html (especially this thread)
These made me giggle for ten minutes straight. I'm filing them away in my What Not To Do When Writing Novels section.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
I finished Richelle Mead's Frostbite (Vampire Academy Book 2) and I'm chomping at the bit now for the third book. Best modern YA series I have read since I was a teenager.
On that note, I really disliked Stephanie Meyers' Twilight. I can see why rabid fans of the series love it, but I found it sort of awful. To me, the characters felt irritating, dull, and selfish, and I thought the relationship between Bella and Edward was obsessive and abusive. I'm sure Meyers didn't mean it that way, and I'm sure her future books will be more appealing to me. But I just do not get the screaming fangirl reactions. I agree with most of Amazon's negative reviews, especially this one and this one (they're very harsh, so if you are a fan, be warned). But those who dislike the book are in a minority. The book is doing really well in the market. It's becoming a movie, even. It's great that teenagers love the book and its sequels, and I really can see the appeal, but it's just not for me.
Good news about Sherrilyn Kenyon is that she's gotten better in her narrations. When I was at Charlotte's, I read one of the newest Dark-Hunter books, and it no longer felt like I was reading a book that treated me like a simpleton. I like the books better now.
I found out that CE Murphy's fourth book in the Walker Papers series will be out next year. It made me squee. I love that series so much.

I'm running out of new fiction books to put in my purse. Time to peruse the shelves.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
As a new Charles de Lint fan, I'm a little late to the party. But I'm making up for it. Since Jilly Coppercorn is my favorite character (who doesn't love Jilly?), I'm reading all the books and collections featuring her, in order of publication. I'm almost finished with "Dreams Underfoot." Next will be "Memory And Dream," which I had started reading a few months ago and stopped when I realized I didn't know enough about the world. When I've finished that, I'll read "The Ivory And The Horn." After that, "Moonlight And Vines." After that, "Tapping The Dream Tree." Then, I'll read "The Onion Girl," the first book about Jilly as a whole. And then the sequel, "Widdershins." By the time that's all done, I'll be all set to read "Promises To Keep."

Then I can go back to reading other authors for a while. Eileen Wilks should have the new Tales Of The Wolves book out early next year, but CE Murphy won't have another Walker Papers book out until 2009. *sadface*
In the meantime, my copy of Mark Helprin's "Winter's Tale" is still patiently waiting for me to get back to it. That white horse and the streets of old Brooklyn can be very persuasive.

Oh, so many books to read, and only the rest of my life to read them all. That's not enough time.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/5997967.html
Except that I'd have to admit I have a book problem. Which I don't. No. Not at all. The eleven million books all over my house say I don't. I'm not addicted to reading, damn you.
Shut up, I have to finish this chapter. Yes, I know my lunch hour is over.

You know it's bad when the one thing you must absolutely have in your purse is a paperback book -- and you only buy purses that will accomodate paperback books of any size regardless of anything else, and if you don't have a book with you at all times, you feel sad and lonely and wonder what you're going to do while waiting for the bus/train/friend's car. Once, Adam and some friends took me out to a bar, and I spent the whole time sitting on a stool in a far corner, reading a science fiction novel. In high school, I was "the girl with the paperback fiction book in her backpack" or sitting in the library for hours. I get depressed without a book nearby.
When I was a kid, my mother made me stop buying so many books and tried to get me to actually socialize instead of bringing a book along with me to places.
But I do NOT have a problem.
Nope.

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brightlotusmoon

March 2015

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