ghost returned, spirit revived

[brightlotusmoon]

http://shiefox.livejournal.com/61880.html (go easy on him; he's severely dyslexic)
According to my husband, Ghost the car has been fixed and he'll have her back tonight, thank the gods.
I didn't quite realize the serious complications my epilepsy could pose if something were to happen. Adam makes a good point -- and a scary one. What if, what if, what if. I will have to write a living will eventually. My husband is the one I trust to make any decisions that I would not be able to make for myself. This does frighten me, my health problems frighten me. All I can do is be strong, and keep telling everyone that I am okay. Really, I am okay. This is why I see doctors and am on a treatment plan.

My left leg is much better. The muscles are no longer loose or relaxed, instead back to the cerebral palsy trap of clench and spasm. This is all right with me. I wouldn't know what to do if I became "normal" anyway.
However my left foot is another story. Adam can't quite heal my brain, but he's been able to... repair things, little things. Energy, electricity, heat, something. He channels it and directs it. I think something happened. I think a new neural pathway was carved, a new connection made. My foot is no longer automatically supinating. It's actually moving like a normal foot moves. I don't know how to walk like that. I keep stumbling. It hurts to walk like this, but something in my brain is insistent. I am now consciously turning the foot in as I step. I don't know if this will last, how long it will last. It probably won't last. Nothing "cures" cerebral palsy.
My emotions are intense. I want to cry, scream, gibber, rock back and forth, beat something. Maybe it's the weather. Several of my friends have been commenting that this weather has been dragging old emotions, old memories, to the surface. Intensity. Frailty.

An interesting side effect of this overload is that I haven't been in any fibro pain since I woke up. Not yet.

By the way: If you don't believe me about the energy channeling, it's okay. I never ask anyone to. It's just something I strongly believe in. Energy comes in many forms, anyway. It's everywhere, after all.

Comments

[pixelmonster.livejournal.com]

I have a living will as well. It is a scary, but wise idea.

I also undergo reiki treatments and massage when I can afford it. Want to try tai chi to improve energy (aka chi) flow on my own but too FUBARed from fibro to do so physically right now:(

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I need to get back to tai chi; I miss it.

[stainedpaper.livejournal.com]

You're lucky to have such a loving husband.

The human body is a strange and magnificent thing. I completely believe in the ability to use healing energy. It is something that should be done very carefully, though.

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

Everyone should have a living will, because in many states, the minute you turn 18, no one has automatic power to make those decisions over you - spouse, parents - no one - unless you give it to them. Doctors can overrule any family member without one. Family members can fight. Hence, the Shiavo case.

There is a wonderful document called The Five Wishes (http://www.agingwithdignity.org/fw2007.html) which is legal in 40 states (including DC). Its a very simple document to fill out, taking you through the process step by step, by asking you a series of questions. By the time you are done, you have completed both a living will and declared your medical proxy. You make sure the appopiate places have it on file - the proxy; lawyer; doctor; hospital, you - and you are done. Simple.

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

I should probably state I know this because I am chair of our EAP advisory committee at work, so I go to state sponsored training - one was on this very issue....

And yea! Ghost returned!

[ronin-lethe.livejournal.com]

regardless of what anyone else may think of energy healing, you believe in it.
that being said, maybe you shouldn't have someone, um, muck around in your brain? what with the whole "prone to electrical spams" thing. i know adam loves you, and has only the best intentions, but healing brains is NOT the same as healing bodies. on a purely electrical level, even neurologists who have studied epilepsy for years aren't sure why epilepsy happens, or why some things trigger some seizures and not others--so maybe the "let's try pushing energy here and see what happens" approach, however well intended, should be discouraged.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

You know, I agree. I think what Adam did was a mistake, as well-intentioned as it was.

[ryotboi.livejournal.com]

hugs! yes, i agree strongly that energy can be very powerful. if it wasn't for one nurse doing touch therapy on me in the NICU, i probably wouldn't have done as well.

i happened upon learning about reiki while i was using energy for positive purposes myself. it's definitely real, even though it can be difficult to measure scientifically.