The Return To Innocence

Another bizarre, color-based fantastic dream last night.
I was walking through a small town full of colors of all kinds. I had my handbag on me and I wondered if I could practice any magic with my cosmetics. However, the eyeshadows from the previous dream were gone.
An older woman came to me and said, "I know what you need. The powders you were using are limited. But these are not. I give these to you as my gift, freely, with no expectations. They belong to you."
She handed me two eyeshadow cases. I recognized them instantly - I own them in the waking world: Too Faced Exotic Color Eye Shadow Singles in Poison Orchid and Midnight Mist. I frowned and stared at her, realizing that her eyelids were painted with a blend of the two. I asked, "Are these stronger?"
"Oh yes," she said. "They heal and harm, create and destroy. Use your finger or a shadow brush. Wear them blended on your eyelids and you are immune to anyone who tries to use magic in a negative or destructive way. Swipe one on each wrist and your own magic will be increased. Wear them any which way you wish and you will be stronger. There is always power in color. Do you wear the red lipcolors that the Art Goddess gave you?"
I tilted my head. "I don't know. I own many red lip shades."
She smiled. Then you probably do. Do you know the names Provocateur, Hot Mama, Pretty Woman, Ruby Slippers, Stiletto Red, Wild?"
"Oh!" I said. "Oh, yes! Buxom and It Cosmetics and Too Faced and Tarte! I always feel drawn to them. Um, pun intended?"
The woman laughed, and her dark blue eyes glowed. "These eyeshadows are Too Faced and the names are no coincidence in this dimension. You come here very often in your dreams." She peered closer at me, nose to nose. "You are wearing Tarte Maracuja Concealer and It Cosmetics Concealer. One day, you will see the true complete beauty, and you may not use so much."
I smirked. "Are you a psychiatrist?"
"Sort of," she laughed. "Empathic witchcraft has advantages. You use color and cosmetics as both enhancement and costume. That is perfect and good. But you must remember that you, as you, are always beautiful."
I took a very deep breath. "It will take a while."
She reached out and pressed her palms against my cheeks. "You will know. You are loved."
It seemed as though she were about to walk away, but she paused and looked at me again. "The Too Faced Lipstick in Stiletto Red and the Tarte Lipstick in Wild. Use them to draw your personal magical symbols where you need on your body, when you come into this dream dimension again. You will understand why once you walk through our town."
I nodded. "And the Too Faced eyeshadows?"
"Oh, you know how they work!" she laughed. "You could even just open them and point them at the sky when you need to destroy your monsters and horrors. Midnight Amethyst and and Midnight Sapphire are designed to work in moonlight, sunlight, and all elements."
I realized that nothing was enigmatic anymore. I started laughing. Behind me, a gateway opened. I stepped back, waving at my companion. She held out one hand, fingers spread wide, and passed a golden-silver stream of light to my hand. I laughed loudly, and the gateway gently wrapped around me and pulled me through. It took a while for me to wake up. I suppose I could call it dream limbo. Light and shadow, color and negative space, filled with serenity.
I will go back. It is my town, after all.



The makeup in this photo:
Too Faced Exotic Single Eyeshadow in Poison Orchid, Midnight Mist
It Cosmetics Hello Lashes Volume Growth Mascara
It Cosmetics Vitality Lip Butter Gloss in Ruby Slippers
Tarte Maracuja Creaseless Concealer

Front facing smartphone cameras with anti-shake technologies are so freaking awesome for disabled people!

I see color everywhere. I taste color everywhere. I hear, sense, feel, and connect with color. I cannot imagine a world, any world, without color, even in my dreams, even without my eyes. I speak in color. Everything I touch makes me explode in color.

People ask me why I can't use my mild psychic skills to 'heal' myself. I still have trouble explaining exactly why that is not possible. I can only pull, manifest, and manipulate elemental colors and cosmic colors so much.
I do not expect people to know what I mean. My perceptions are my own. However, I know many people who understand what I mean.

"It's something about the color..."
It's always something about the color.

Often, I dream in octarine, the color of magic. Everything is magic, and everything is color, and color shows me the depths of the universe that I cannot fully reach, not until I join that cosmic wave, full of indescribable colors that define what it means to exist.

This is why religion will never work for me. Not enough color. Not enough expansion. Too much external force. I need more color. I need more inside. I need my whole brain, which cannot happen unless the dead white matter and the damaged neurons somehow move again.

I am my own connection to whatever forces move existence. I am responsible for my own existence. My Higher Brain, my Subconscious, my Quantum Psychic Brain, and my Self are working together to create the most intense positive energy I have ever realized.

My transformation will come only from within myself. I am waiting. I am moving in directions that feel so right to me, no matter what external forces claim. I am opening myself to every past hurt, every negative feeling, and shifting them into the light. It it is a constant cycle, and it hurts so much that sometimes I cannot handle it. Meditative techniques are like lifelines.

The important thing is that I keep going. I keep growing. That is what matters. I am following the colors. I am the colors. I am made of light.

I painted another polish on my nails, over that other dark purple. Kure Bazaar Nail Lacquer in Catwalk: A metallic, electric eggplant.
When they called it a metallic, electric eggplant color, they were not kidding. So very shiny.
The description is fascinating.
"Kure Bazaar is the first nail lacquer of the next generation to combine the ethics of an Eco-natural formula with vibrant colors of fashion. A technological innovation after years of research, has led to dramatically reducing the use of petro-chemicals without compromise. Impeccable resistance, ultrashine & quick-dry. Formula up to 85% of natural origin based on wood pulp, wheat, cotton, potatoes and corn."
Weird, but awesome.

I really am loving purple shades lately. I used to love only blue shades, particularly cobalt. But now, when I see deep dark translucent violet glass, I start gibbering. Most of my eyeshadows (Urban Decay mostly) are various kinds of purple. I do refuse to wear purple toned lipstick since it makes me look dead, preferring reds, berries, and pinks, with brown undertones. I love purple shirts and socks and panties. People tell me that my aura is full of purple and some blue and some gold, which is sweet. My favorite purple gemstone is lepidolite, while my favorite blue stone is a tie between kyanite and lapis lazuli.
I already have a pyrope garnet ring on my right index finger and a light blue kyantine ring on my left index finger.
The garnet color reminds me of my favorite dark red lipsticks (It Cosmetic' Vitality Pretty Woman, Revlon Lip Butter Red Velvet, Sally Hansen MoistureTwist lipgloss Cherry Twist, Nars Flamenco and Shanghai Expres, BareMinerals Natural Red Zin, Julie Hewett Oona Noir). The kyanite color reminds me of my favorite pale blue eyeshadows (MAC Moon's Reflection and Tilt, BareMineral's High Shine Vapor, Lauren Brooke's Twilight Sparkle powder and Sky creme)... as well as my husband's eyes.
Speaking of that, I want this lepidolite lapis ring for Yule. Size 5. Someone make a note.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/73571808/lepidolite-lapis-lazuli-sterling-silver

Still depressed. Still fatigued. Still full of pain and spasticity. Whatever. It will happen, and then it will fade. I will ride it out and know that I will be all right.

A very fascinating quiz. I have neutral undertones, then. Looks like I am a Sunset Winter or Absolute Winter. Which amuses the hell out of me, as I am not a winter person; hah (I'm a spring or summer, but I suppose being winter in appearance and color balances that out).
So according to other makeup color sites like MakeupAlley, I am also a Very Fair Neutral, a MAC NC-15, and a Pale Porcelain Princess.
( My color season )